You’ll Laugh About This Someday


Generally speaking, we’re all adults here (“here” being the internet in general and ABD’s site in particular), but we’re young enough to keep our hilarious, youthful shenanigans close at hand for quick retelling to our similarly situated peers. That’s all well and good, but now is the time to consider your embarrassing shenanigans as well.

The performance (and now book) series Mortified, is what we’ve all been waiting for, and turns the embarrassing moments into your favorite ones. The concept is that, frequently, children and young adults keep journals, whether they are forced to or choose to do so voluntarily. Because these books are sacred, secret objects which hold one’s deepest desires and most unspeakable vitriol, they are goldmines for laughs, at least in retrospect. Also, sometimes they’re just cute.

A great excerpt from one of the books follows. This particular young lady was desperately in love with a boy who lived hundreds of miles away, and had taken to writing letters she would never send.


I dreamed I came to Milwaukee for Christmas. We went to your parents’ house. I helped your mother with the cranberry sauce and you told your father you thought you were in love. Who have I become because of you? A love-struck Juliet who writes nightly in a Five-Star notebook about her hopes and dreams of future happiness with her one and only Milwaukee love? Who, who, who have I become?

I cut my thumb when slicing a lemon today because I was thinking about you. You saw that coming, didn’t you, Samuel? My eyes burn to see you, the way my finger burns from the acid of the citrus fruit.”

The human drama has never been so exquisite, nor so small. Do yourself a favor and look into someone else’s childhood through the keyhole that is “Mortified.” If you’re brave enough, you might even volunteer to perform! I double dog dare you.

Blog post contributed by BH